Author Archives: Matt Hill
New job
I started a new job on Monday. It’s teaching me about brevity.
Eurovision live blog: 2008
I remember my first Eurovision song contest party; I was nine or thereabouts. As it goes I’m fairly sure it was the first time – mothers aside – that I saw another woman’s nipple. She’d quaffed far too much and had flopped on to the settee with it all hanging out. I didn’t tell anybody.
So [...]
On sorries and apologies
I must’ve said sorry more times than I’ve eaten bananas, I decided. Just the other day I explained earnestly to a friend that I’d even apologise to somebody who’d just shot me for getting in the way of their bullets.
Recently I apologised in retrospect, via Facebook, for calling a boy a ‘panface’ at school – [...]
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Dad’s Cobra kit-car
Funeral’s good but it’s not the one. It’s like one, though. I mean we’ve all been standing outside and feeling sick and something has more-or-less died.
What it is really is that my Dad’s been building a kitcar for over twenty years — and now he’s had to sell it on account of he can’t afford [...]
My brother the DJ
My brother’s gone and moved back home for precisely the reason I did. It’s a bit like that story about two brothers moving home only I don’t remember which exactly – but it is like that story.
Basically it’s that we’ve had our independence for a while and then everything’s gone slightly wrong so we’ve lost [...]
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Writing about sex
I had one of those world-smashing conversations the other day. You know the ones. About SEX. When basically your parents have decided you’re old enough to talk like adults together, only not before they’ve said, ‘Now then, Matthew,’ like Jimmy Saville, or as if I’ve done something terrible, like forgetting to put an apple core [...]
Stonehenge
Well the idea was to find Merlin and dress up as druids, or both.
There were five of us and three rucksacks and too many bottles of water to worry about describing.
I was dressed like a prannock and the plan was to go to Stonehenge and take pictures of other people taking pictures and prove to [...]
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On true crime & crime fiction